Au Revoir

I am formally closing this blog. As you can see for 2015 there was not even a single update or even a change in the lay out.
Let us not even begin on how bad and exhausting 2015 was. But this blog will always hold a special place in my heart. For one this blog got me through medical school and comforted me during early employment days as a general physician. I mean after seven years and 126 posts later this blog for sure was a big part of my life.
This blog was also very patient with my whining and ranting. I realized that looking back mostly I whined and ranted... a LOT. I'd like to think that I had matured so I am not updating this blog anymore and I got a new one that is more or less a concept type of blog which is oriented to being a struggling thirty something. And its not like the five committed readers will miss me anyway.
I'll miss you my little friend but I won't delete this one of course. I would like to look back at times where I acted like an annoying irresponsible brat who thinks he has the whole world under control.

Happy Christmas (War is NOT over)

December was hectic. It was crazy, overwhelming and exhausting. I feel like it has been a month of beating deadlines after deadlines that it got me almost downward spiraling out of control. Almost. Unlike last year, which was a balance of productivity in the workplace and extracurricular pleasure, this year it feels like trying to beat the buzzer of a run of the mill holiday blur. Always.I feel like I am in constant fighting stance draining all the energy of me, wasting it.

As of now I am plotting in my head the things to be done, Christmas dinners with different circles to be booked and making sure the operating room schedule is not in disarray. I have not yet watched “Love Actually” this year and it will be three days till Christmas. It has become a tradition of mine for ten years now to watch the film during the season.

So far the highlights for the Yuletide season of 2014, is the Christmas dinner with the nerds which lasted till the wee hours of the morning. I finally was able to make egg nog and it was great. And the rest of the evening turned out to be a grand time in geek fashion. Another one is being able to participate as a Santa for less privileged kids. I will be doing that next year again.

This year the things I want are less material. If I had my way a two week off from hospital duty would be bliss. Probably I will take the opportunity to use that gift certificate in a resort in Bohol. However it is not possible. I also want to be able to enjoy Christmas morning in peace which includes mass and lunch with the family, shopping and catching up on my reading.

In the spirit of Christmas in a materialistic world, here are some of my Christmas wishes.

1.) The new Murakami book, either of the two but I prefer the thick hardbound one with Colorless on its title
2.) “The Stranger” by Albert Camus
3.) A new graphic novel for my collection
4.) Timbaland boots
5.) New running shoes (cheap ones will do!)
6.) Sanuks for duty (mine got unfortunately stolen in the operating room lounge)
7.) Rocket Raccoon action figure
8.) A new board game
And I think the older you get the shorter your Christmas wants.

What if?

If you were not working as a doctor, what will you be doing?

I'd probably be any of these three: A lawyer. Since one of my best friends, is a successful associate in one of the firms in Makati with a good reputation and she is so passionate of her work despite the crazy back breaking paperwork and overtime. Sometimes I'd love to teach history to college kids and I've always been a geek on history from way back. Another job I can see myself working in is the advertising world. With the right college and degree I think I can do it. I could work in an advertising firm that specializes in posters, events, book covers etc.

#whatif

In the Midst of It All

The prestige reaped can never replace lost youth, borrowed time, unfulfilled promises, broken equations and people who drifted away. What is missing will never be found and you will be forced to realize an empty acceptance of it.

Random Mumbling on V-Day (Happily alone, really.)

“How do you stop longing for what you absolutely know you can’t get? Which really means: How do you absolutely know you can’t—and won’t—get it, not ever? How do you pinch out that wisp of feeble, ruthless hope?”

Happy Valentine's Day to all couples and friends. I think this day is overrated but I am still wishing all you boys and girls a memorable one. Just remember one thing. No glove, No love... Carry on!

This song's for you everybody happily in love... Hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI

2013 A Look Back

It's a bit overdue but I want to do this. I've been wanting to really since New Year's Eve but just found the time to do it so.

I've shouted in my Facebook 3 days before the new year that 2013 was a year of natural disasters, inner demons, turning points, wrecking balls and a LOT of learning. I think its a turning point year. It could have been better but it could have been worse as well. Generally thought it was a character builder of a year. Here was 2013 in a nutshell.

Highlights:

1.) Being deployed to Bohol for a week as part of a Trauma Team relief operations after the October quake. That earthquake opened up a lot of epiphanies on life and in which direction I should take in my career. And during that week I felt a sense of purpose in my chosen profession. I spent three memorable summers in Bohol and it was so heartbreaking to see personally the damage it left. And the fact that we were recognized by the Orthopaedics Board was just a bonus. A sweet icing on the cake.
2.) Meeting new friends that actually can connect with you and getting to hang out with them quite often. Thanks to Cebu Trivia Night and Cebu Boardgaming Society for this.
3.) The interview on local TV about firecracker injury prevention for the second straight year. Glad to be of service and spreading knowledge. My parents watched it twice. I didn't. It makes me cringe.
4.) The solo surgeries especially the anticipation, the adrenaline rush, the challenge and the fulfillment post-operative.
5.) My first journal club report during the Philippine Orthopaedic Association and was met with positive reviews.
6.) The paintball event last September with fellow Orthopods.
7.) My brother's board exam success in the Physician's Licensure Examinations.
8.) My sister's engagement.
9.) My expanding graphic novel collection.
10.) December. The whole month was just unforgettable. It was a balance of both work and pleasure. Despite the fact that I was swamped with patients in the hospital I was able to hang out with my different groups of friends, fellow residents, families and actually enjoyed it.

Low Points:

1.) The merry month of May. This month I was almost at the edge of falling. April ended with me crying hot tears of frustration and exhaustion in Osmena Boulevard and capping it off with absence seizures right in front of Robinsons. I really wanted to quit Residency then and there, But I manned up and continued. But shit that month was helluva of a roller coaster ride of volatile vitriolic emotions and insecurities.
2.) November. Yolanda. What a bitch. Enough said. The damage you have caused just cannot be paralled by anything else.
3.) All the bullshit nonsense drama which I was able to block out.
4.) I've failed in all of my New Year's resolutions last year. Double double boo!
I really have high hopes that 2014 will be great. A lot of things to be excited about. For my family, friends, career, colleagues, first vacation leave, turning 30, more solo surgeries, new friends, graphic novels and whole lot more. So far it has started off pretty well. Hope this will continue for 11 more months. 2014 I'll try like hell to be strong and to make you mine. Good vibes ahead!

On Aging

Yes this is my first post after a long time. Residency happened. I got the job I wanted for a long time and I mentioned it quite often here. And a lot of things happened for the past year. And yes that will be reserved for another post if I can muster the effort time and energy to do so.

Since its been almost tradition that every year I dedicated a post to things I want for my birthday. So here goes.

1.) A graphic novel to add to my growing collection. Any of the following titles would be nice: "From Hell, "Habibi" or "Persepolis"
2.) Vans Old Skool Sneakers in Black size 8
3.) "The Wind Up Bird Chronicles" by Haruki Murakami
4.) "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahnuik
5.) Vintage T-shirts
6.) A weekend off (wishful thinking!)
7.) Skinny jeans from Bench
8.) James Dean DVD set
9.) A Power Rangers T-shirt

And here are some petty pathetic things I really want to accomplish before I turn 30. However these are also realistic, something that I can do in between surgeries and residency. Yes next year I will be entering the third decade. Its not as overwhelming as say five years ago. I want to do something memorable for next year.

1.) Finish all the Chronicles of Narnia books all seven of them - an ode to childhood
2.) Go to Aloguinsan. It is the only town here in Cebu I hadn't set foot in yet.
3.) Travel alone - I should have done this last year when I had so much time. Domestic probably.
4.) Start writing poetry. But I'm still to shy to share.
5.) Graphic novel collection will become 100
6.) Start a new hobby - I just did last year with the indie graphic novel collection.
7.) Cook a dish or bake a cake
8.) Finish "Miller's Review of Orthopaedics". - For residency purposes
9.) Revamp my room
10.) Invest

Let us see how I fare with the list.

I'm sure this year's birthday will be remarkable. It is unconventional so I will never forget this year.

Thought for Next Month

"I wish that I can have a life that is lived in the middle ground where contentment and love are found in the smallest details of people's lives".

This is what I learned today after finishing Nicholas Sparks's latest book "The Best of Me". This line was uttered by one of the characters.

These include spending time with your friends every week and laughing, eating a delicious dessert, trying out new cuisines, doing good on the first six months on your job evaluation, reading a good book on a rainy night while getting cozy on the couch, being entertained by a movie, home cooked lunch on Sundays with your healthy parents and siblings, walking the dogs, calling a pal from a different city to catch up, playing with your friends' kids amongst others.

As I will be turning a year older in two weeks. Yes, I am on my way of closing my late twenties, I've come to realize that, this is one of my birthday wishes this year.

Photo Credits: thingsweforget.blogspot.com

The Science of Sleep

Ever since I stopped working and started my sabbatical from the world of employment and wages I have been having tiny problems regarding sleep. Don't get me wrong I love sleep. But these are not life threatening medical problems.

Last month I've had dreams that are David Lynch-esque and it was both surreal and a bit upsetting. However I don't remember the bulk of those dreams but I swear it was like being stuck in Lynch's subconscious. And no matter how hard I try to remember them I usually just manage to picture one scene from such dreams when I wake up. It was like being in a black and white bleak world from the film "Eraserhead". Sometimes friends from high school, college, medical school and from the hospitals I've had worked know each other and mingle.

And the only one I can remember was the last dream I had two days ago. It was not as puzzling as "Mulholland Drive" but it was inexplicably odd. The theme was consistent like the rest of those dreams. It was set in medical school and it was Bioethics class and we were doing some kind of presentation about some medical issue I forgot. Yes, this is the class where we tackle euthanasia, abortion, patient confidentiality etc. Basically all those from the characters in "Grey's Anatomy" casually breach. The format was a talk show and I was the talk show host. It was set in an amphitheater (where we do these classes way back) and everybody from the school was there. The bizarre thing was though there were about a million pieces surrounding me I could not recognize any classmates nor schoolmates. However my professor was there. Then we were about to start. She then asked me if I was ready to start. And I said I was. Then suddenly, after I told her I was ready I had a mental block out right then and there. I could not remember for the love of God everything I was about to talk in front of the crowd. Nothing. I got nervous. John, one of my co-interns from post graduate internship who graduated from a different school, appeared and wished me luck. He then asked me why I missed his wedding(which happened a week ago) and then I woke up.

Right now I am having trouble falling asleep for two weeks now. I end up lying in bed for two to three hours before getting full shut eye. I want to have a normal circadian rhythm. I've tried everything what medical school has taught me. And still nothing is quite working yet. I've given up those afternoon naps and I read a lot of literature in bed.But I'm happy that a little progress has been made.

I guess this is the price you pay for having no work and no stress at all , no?

Of Jobs and Applications

When the application from the job that you have been holding out for like forever has been stalled for an indefinite period without time frame and all and you have resigned from your current job (its boring anyway) you breathe in, breathe out, keep calm, drink beer or whatever is in the fridge with alcohol content, do occasional joyrides and then listen to rock music. Everything is gonna be alright. Then repeat.
Let me take this opportunity to plug fun's (yup, fun is the name of their band) Some Nights album. Although they have become mainstream, they're sound is still refreshing. I have been drawn to this song again. Probably because I will become older in less than a month. Another way of the feeble subconsciousness dealing with the always inevitable change.

The Greatest of All Time

The Fed Express is on a roll! 17 Grand Slams including a 7th Record Wimbledon (tied with Pete Sampras), 5 US Opens, 4 Australian Opens and 1 French Open. He is not just the king of ANY surface but The Greatest of All Time. Unparalleled brilliance, a master class of his own right and timeless skills! Now he is back as World Number One and tied with Pete Sampras for the longest reign as the top ranked player (268 weeks). Congratulations Roger Federer! You totally deserve this!
This made my weekend. One of the best stuff that has happened this year!

Wassup

I haven't posted for eight weeks now. I just can't seem to find time to write anything interesting other than rumbling while being preoccupied by books and a couple of British TV shows. I am in this feeling of ambivalence between how swiftly time has passed by and then before going to bed I am shaking my head that time can't seem to run fast. I know right? Stupid.

Summer has come and gone. But I am welcoming the change of weather with open arms. This year I can feel the difference of temperatures and amount of rainfall as you would between the dry and the wet season. And rainfall has become my natural tranquilizer, making me sleep longer and deeper.

For me everything is just chilling, waiting and hoping. And in between those actions, are conversations fueled by alcohol inspired by sports, politics and third world problems, trash talking about the NBA play offs and tennis and reading interesting books. And I'm proud to say I got reacquainted with American History

And now I am battling another bout of insomnia with delusions of grandeur. Just don't get me started on the latter. That's all for now. Must get to bed and deal with those grand ideas later.
Here are my MUST LIST:

1.) Downton Abbey
2.) Jollibee's Criss Cut Fries In Zesty Cheese
3.) Cheese Top Burger from KFC
4.) Krispy Kreme's Special Edition Spiderman Doughnuts
5.) Sherlock
6.) Thor memes and jokes (I really find it funny. Especially Thor-un! LOL!)
7.) Matututuhan Mo Rin by Rocksteddy video
8.) One Direction (Guilty Pleasure)
9.) Weng-Weng from Alejandro's Filipino Resto
10.)Payless and their never ending bargains on shoes albeit generic.

P.S.
1.) I will definitely watch "The Amazing Spiderman" this weekend. Read a lot of positive reviews about the reboot.
2.) I can't decide whether to buy all the three books from "The Fifty Shades Trilogy". Sensibility says I'd be better off getting a copy of "1Q84" by Haruki Murakami or any book from A Song of Fire and Ice series.

First of Summer

Summer beckons! At least for me. As I have had previously mentioned in a couple of posts a month ago I just had concluded something that will make or break my career path, so I did not feel at all that it was summer except the heat.

Still the heat is on! Cebu City has been experiencing temperatures ranging from 30 to 35 degrees for the past six weeks already. Except on mid afternoons after lunch I am loving the temperature. Its the only time of the day that I cannot tolerate the humidity and the UV rays from my room that I take refuge in my sister's room for air conditioning. However the rest of the day it gets lovely. A fan, iced tea and a book or a TV rerun of old comedy shows keep me entertained on the dog days of summer.

So far I am feeling vibes and figments of those past childhood summers. My mom is on a cooking frenzy so rest assured almost every meal time there is something delicious on the table. Once we had homemade Spanish sardines, calamares on the weekends and occasionally have banana fritters made from scratch for snacks.

Other mini updates:

1.) I have a new favorite author and his name is Jeffrey Eugenides. In a span of nineteen years he has written three novels and edited one book of short stories. I finished "The Virgin Suicides" and it was mesmerizing and haunting. I am halfway through his latest book "The Marriage Plot" and so far I am finding the characters interesting in a non conventional way. After this I am planning on getting his second novel "Middlesex". Speaking of books I think this summer I will be able to read quite a number of books - as many or probably will exceed what I read during the Summer of 2007. Aside from Eugenides books (this will be the summer of Eugenides), what's on the list include Rolling Stone's Top 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, a biography of Michael Phelps (pumping up for the Olympics), a coffee table book on the Beatles, a Fitzgerald novel - I still could not decide between "This Side of Paradise" and "The Beautiful and the Damned" and I know that I am overly ambitious here - "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy.

2.) I have a feeling that 2012 will be a great year for movies. "The Avengers" kicked off summer with an entertaining kick ass visual feast. And now I am really excited for "The Amazing Spiderman" and "The Dark Knight Rises". Superhero movies will be brilliant this year! Avengers vs. Loki, check! Next up Spiderman vs. Lizard and the new trailer for "The Dark Knight Rises" makes me more excited to see it!

3.)I enjoyed American Idol's 60s night episode last night. I swore last year that I won't be watching this show anymore but since the videos in youtube are so accessible that you don't need to wait for the telecast on cable anymore I find myself wasting around two hours every week watching the live performances. My favorite performance of the night was Joshua Ledet and Phillip Phillips duet on the classic "You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling". On paper it seems to sound horrendous but when they sang it - the odd combination of their voices - Joshua's high range of soul and falsetto blended well with Phillip's southern rock tone. They brought the house down. Joshua is indeed the underdog for this year. I predict that it will be a Jessica-Phillip showdown this year with Phillip claiming the crown because his adorable face have charmed every teenage American girl to vote for him. But a Jessica-Joshua finale is also possible. Phillip could start his own folk band! I can imagine him putting up an album that will sound like Mumford and Sons + Fleet Foxes and a dash of Kings of Leon.

4.) I still have five weeks of summer left. Who knows? It might be longer than expected or shorter than anticipated. But so far I am loving it. I have a lot of things to look forward to also! I won't divulge them here some might not happen but whatever happens I am perfectly fine waiting and hoping for better things.

That's About It

I haven't written for a month now. I have really been busy. Good kind of busy. Fulfilling type of busy. A lot of learning has happened during the past month. Right now though I feel that as if my life can be compared to a DVD being played on a DVD player then suddenly the pause button was pressed. And I am just in the sidelines watching or at least trying to wonder what will go on next. What button will be pressed? The rewind or the fast forward button. Surprisingly I am okay. More okay than what others might perceive. I enjoy my lull days where in I get to do whatever I want, have the options to go wherever but choose not to, and just think about nothing all day. In short I am the master of my time, and time is my friend. Yes ironically I still don't have all the time. And yes believe I try to make time for leisure but somehow it is still not possible. Maybe not now. I have to make peace with the fact that I will be having a late surge in going crazy and shit when I will be mid or late 30s. That is if death does not beat me to it. :-D. All I can say is being a doctor makes you poor in time and money but rich in knowledge. Some people tell me to lighten up and just go out and do things. But honestly I am just FINE here at home doing nothing, reading fiction and just sitting while listening to 90's songs. Yes my life is indeed in pause mode but I could not ask for more. I even argued to the universe late last night and saying what have I done to deserve something my parents are giving me. I don't deserve it but they won't budge anyway. I deserve something else but not this one. And one last word - I fucking seriously hate inspirational books. I am not amused of the fact that certain people teach other people how to run their lives. I admit I am one of those that need a tutor on how to manage life but still I'd prefer to do it o my own - make mistakes, fuck up sometimes (not ALL the time) and learn from it. These kind of books nag! Haha and yes this is what comes out when you stray from the transgressive fiction section in National.

Fast March

That is all I can say for this month. It was really fast. And in six days, the first quarter of this year is over. And so far so good. It feels like, at least for me, I am a plane taking off, still trying to reach the required altitude to get to the next destination. And I have to post something because I will be more busy for the next fifteen days and it will be April soon. I just need one more post for March.

This month I was happy to be working on weekends. It was a change of pace, more time for relaxation which equates to more time for books, movies and friends and I don't have to wake up early every day. It can be toxic but I'd prefer it anytime compared to my office hours schedule. And I also requested this so that I could have more time for rest and leisure. But as it turns out I was motivated to accept extra sidelines for cash. The first two days of March I was full on bumming mode. During the first weekend my duty at the ER was bloody to say the least. Then the week after booked myself with two days of medical consultations. And the next thing I knew, I was already booked almost every day for three to six hours of medical consultations from North to South of Cebu. And I feel really blessed. I always will stick to my day job because it is stable and pays well. However these extra shifts and sidelines allows me to get some goodies, eat good food occasionally, drinks with friends and extra savings these days doesn't hurt. As long as I am available, no matter how far the location (farthest up North was Bogo and farthest down South was Oslob), I'd always say yes. Just when the ball started rolling for me, the hospital for residency applications called. They told me I was qualified for pre-residency but not necessarily a sure bet for the item. So I filed for leave and did all the required papers hence I got all the more busy. After medical consultations I'd stop by at the hospital and once I got the go signal I started getting jittery. I finished all my commitments and now I am a bit scared but at the same time crossing my fingers and hope that this is it. However I will be expecting for the worse as usual. And that's basically the summary of this month - anxiety and inferiority. Sigh. Let's hope that the next fifteen days will be as fast! Lets do this!

Speaking of goodies, I recently bought a couple of books from BookSale. Seriously, every time I go in, I always buy something when I go out of a branch. And also from National Bookstore. But I really got these books at cheap, totally worth it prices.

Books I got from BookSale:
1.) Midnight Miles - A photo book of Maroon 5's tour way back 2003-2004. I got this for 325 pesos. Colored and in good condition.
2.) Kiss and Tell - An official guide to Sex and the City. In mint condition except for a little tear on the back part of the cover near the spine, which I repaired with tape. This is price at 899 pesos at FullyBooked, got it for 245 pesos
3.) Grunge - A coffee table hardbound book about the Grunge movement and the iconic bands of the era. Yup, only 90 pesos.
4.) The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald , Wordsworth Classics Edition. The cover is just random but its only 75 pesos and in great condition

Books from National Bookstore:
1.) What I Talk About Running - Haruki Murakami. A hardbound edition for 175 pesos.
2.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald - only 75 pesos too!
3.) Rolling Stone Magazine's 500 Greatest Albums of All Time - Hardbound, printed last 2005, with tears along the flap jacket but nonetheless still a bargain for 250 pesos.
4.) Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfield - Hardbound original price at 799, got it for 99 pesos and gave it as a gift.

I know I shouldn't be buying more books but I do anyway. Its an impulse that is hard to suppress but I will be taking the summer to read all these books and the others that are in line. So far, I've only finished five books this year and currently reading two. I can't wait for the next two weeks. I'll just have to suck it up!

Ch... ch... changes..

Change always confuses me. It always leaves an unsettling feeling. Uncertainty, anxiety and fear combined. I just recently dealt with change and transferred my ass to a new comfort zone. Suddenly a curve ball comes my way - the good kind of curve ball. Something that you have always wanted for a long time. But now I don't want to move my ass to a new comfort zone. Its no man's land. I was just getting comfortable in my new phase. I was ecstatic of course as my dreams are coming full circle but the formation of that circle will bring forth more waiting, more questions. Its time to take a leap of faith again. This time with my eyes blindfolded and I don't know where will I land - water, sand or rocks. Yup its that terrifying. Quite ironic that something I've hoped for, for quite a long time, that has swallowed me whole with not so pleasant consequences is semi actualized but yet it has transported me in an unstable state of more wondering. Changes scare the beejezus out of me.

But all I can do is hope for the best, expect the worse, have a little faith in myself, suck it up, go with the flow and do your best. So here's to fucking changes!

Like the song in the video above goes.. "Everything is gonna be alright.... Rockabye...

P.S.: I have a tendency to overplay this song every time I am about to face major life changes, u-turns and picking a new road to start a journey.

Hectic

I could not summarize the past two or three weeks in a word. All I can say it was hectic. But the good kind of hectic. I totally immersed myself in work and catching up with friends and trying to micromanage them, finances. So a balance of wonderful moments at work and even more wonderful moments with friends.

The past two weeks were hectic. There I've said it again. No, make that February's been hectic. Not to mention the change of schedules and scheduling conflicts, too many deliveries and dealing with annoying workers in the hospital (not doctors). But somehow February made sense.

The past month I have been trying to grapple about fulfillment, weighing in my career choices and trying to tighten my grip on reality without bordering on either controlling or delusional. I guess it is because of changes. I always turn to overthinking, overemoting and nostalgia when change comes looming in. As I have aged, I have become less and less emo but sometimes I'd crack that all I want to do is crawl up in bed and write non sensical bullshit or at least try to come up with something presentable for a blog post.

Lately I have been ambivalent about some things and of decisions. Occasionally I'd want this and that and then the next day my mind changes. In conclusion I really need to be happy regardless of whatever happens not because of what will happen next. But yeah, I'm happier now compared to my irritable, agitated mood during the holidays.

So I don't know how to end this one. Honestly I have been formulating this in my head for over a week and a half now and its getting annoying in my head at least thats why I have to get this out of my neurons. Now back to the hectic week. I've worked from Sunday to Saturday and went out everyday of the week except on Sundays. We won the Special Edition Second Anniversary Trivia Night on Friday. Saturday Jo came to Cebu and super catch up with pizza, pasta and doughnuts. Shopping on the side. Sunday was crazy day at work. Monday was the Eat All You Can Buffet at Radisson Blu and I am going crazy for their sushi bar and dessert selections. Homemade ice cream anyone? Definitely coming back! Tuesday I watched two exceptionally made films in the Bisaya language - Dili Ingon Nato and My Paranormal Romance (more on this some other time). Wednesday met up with one of my closest friends from medical school Mayee and talked about life, careers( this has got to be topic of the year for me) and her engagement. We talked about leaps of faith and lots of hope for our futures. Thursday and Friday Trivia Night and Saturday was the Board Game Session which lasted until the wee hours of the morning and it was so competitive and of course fun! I passed out on the couch.

And another thing, fulfillment and all those shit still confuse me sometimes. And yes I still want that yellow board shorts damn it!

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Boy: say you love me
Girl: laughs
Boy: say you love me
Girl: no
Boy: say you love me!
Girl: I won't
Boy: say "I love you" na!
Girl: no way.
Boy cge na, say I love you!
Girl: fine. i love you.
Boy: say my name
Girl: silence
Boy: say I love you -----!
Girl: whatever. i love you -----

after a few minutes...

SLAP!

boy (dumbfounded): what was that for?
girl: that's for making me say I love you

SLAP!

girl: and that's for making me say it when I don't mean it.

Pakshet! Talbog ang mga linya nina John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo at sa lahat ng pelikula ng Star Cinema mga kantang pang Videoke naman ang mga pamagat! Ito na ang pinakamatindi na pamatay linya sa history ng mga pamatay linya tsaka pick up lines! Yari ka Pre! LOL!! :-D

Happy V-Day Pals and Gals!

Happy Birthday James Dean!

February 8, 1931 - September 30, 1955

"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today"

He would've been eighty one years old. If he were still alive, he would still be making movies,a dozen Oscar nominations to boot and would probably exude that youthful exuberance. But he was taken too soon.

Just a random reflection on his life: A short life well lived without boundaries is better than a long life full of what ifs...

Before and After The Quake

During lunch time today Cebu was shaken up by a 6.8 magnitude earthquake on the Richter scale. Today as we marched back to the daily work grind, it seemed like a normal manic Monday. Deadlines, e-mails to reply, patients to examined but as we were about to wolf down our lunches, the earth moved and we all felt it under our feet. Another proof that life is indeed unpredictable and it never runs out of surprises. I am really thankful that it was not that strong but it could have been - and Cebu's old buildings will not stand a chance against the Earth's tectonic plates and my family and friends though all shook up are safe and sound. That is something to be grateful for.

BEFORE...

Last week as I was beaming in celebrating happy friendship week(I fuckin' know, cheesy!). I was happy. The type of happy where in I suddenly and unknowingly catch myself smiling while in transit for no apparent reason but in my head I am thinking about the crazy events that had happened beforehand. I do look silly in front of these strangers but in actuality that's one of my favorite mini moments. Laughing subconsciously while replaying those stupid zany moments never fails to lift me up and gets me through the day! These moments include drunken tirades among friends, trash talking over board game strategies and blast from the past moments.

On Monday, a college friend came back after four years of working in the US and ironically we finally met his fiancee. We never had the chance to meet her when they were still dating before they left to work abroad. And it was night of laughter and catching up just like the old times.

On Wednesday, Alejandro's Filipino Resto, was demolished to give way to more wider roads in a section of the city that's not even a main road. Honestly I don't get government crap sometimes. For the past eighteen months I spent most of my Wednesday nights in Alejandro's geeking out during Trivia Night and getting wasted. Because of this weekly sessions, I met new faces and new friends that share my inner dork force with and my love for alcohol and a good time. Alejandro's is like Central Perk (the coffeeshop from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)for me, a place where memories where made for the past year and a half. From kicking ass and getting our asses kicked over trivial supremacy, to conversations about the moon and comparing Oscar Movies and the most epic are the post trivia drinking sessions which includes puking on ice buckets, peeing on firewalls, inebriated Q and A's and a whole lot of drama and comedy capped off with a pre-breakfast hot noodles meal by the sidewalk. Ah, funny memories indeed! And the last ever Trivia Night at Alejandro's was legendary - we won first place, I got so drunk and puked my guts out which resulted into the most bitchiest hang over of my life so far, and there was fist pumping, punching and bitch slapping!

During the weekend, my body was telling me to slow down a bit. I got GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). My epigastrium was burning and I lost my appetite for 36 hours. I ended up just staying at home, missing a board game session, turned down a karaoke party and spent most of my time in bed with PPIs and water. I used the time to finally finish "The Elephant Vanishes" and catch up on Oscar nominated movies.

Sunday I was finally back in tip top shape. First thing I did was hear mass, window shopped for books (I know I shouldn't right now) and pigged out! I ate at Flame It for nostalgia's sake, had ice cream, yogurt, got myself new plaid Airwalks slip-ons and ended the night with a cappucino and New York Cheesecake Doughnut from Krispy Kreme. Yes next weekend I will be rebounding!

AFTER....

What disappointed me during this event is how the people panicked which totally reflected ill preparedness and lack of knowledge and foresight. All those time spent on earthquake drills are now totally down the drain. People spreading text messages that a tsunami had occurred in Carbon Market and that the downtown area was flooded. Sometimes people do perceived updates wrongly and misinterpret warnings. Let us pray and be calm.

Good thing my mother though anxious but lets her level guardedness win over. When I went home from work I found on my bedroom a gallon of water around 5 liters, plates, ropes, knives and canned goods.

And then those aftershocks are making me dizzy. PHIVOLCS said they will continue for almost a week. Even more.

Inspired by today's tremors and done in good jest, here is my "It's The Quake" play list:
1.) I Feel the Earth Move - Carole King
2.) We Will Rock You - Queen
3.) Get Busy - Sean Paul
4.) All Shook Up - Elvis Presley
5.) Shake Your Love - Debbie Gibson
6.) It's the End of the World (As we know it!) - REM
7.) Shake your Bon Bon - Ricky Martin
8.) Bodyshakin' - 911
9.) Shake, Rattle and Roll - Jesse Stone
10.)You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

Let us all pray and hope for every one's safety. We can get through this!