That's About It

I haven't written for a month now. I have really been busy. Good kind of busy. Fulfilling type of busy. A lot of learning has happened during the past month. Right now though I feel that as if my life can be compared to a DVD being played on a DVD player then suddenly the pause button was pressed. And I am just in the sidelines watching or at least trying to wonder what will go on next. What button will be pressed? The rewind or the fast forward button. Surprisingly I am okay. More okay than what others might perceive. I enjoy my lull days where in I get to do whatever I want, have the options to go wherever but choose not to, and just think about nothing all day. In short I am the master of my time, and time is my friend. Yes ironically I still don't have all the time. And yes believe I try to make time for leisure but somehow it is still not possible. Maybe not now. I have to make peace with the fact that I will be having a late surge in going crazy and shit when I will be mid or late 30s. That is if death does not beat me to it. :-D. All I can say is being a doctor makes you poor in time and money but rich in knowledge. Some people tell me to lighten up and just go out and do things. But honestly I am just FINE here at home doing nothing, reading fiction and just sitting while listening to 90's songs. Yes my life is indeed in pause mode but I could not ask for more. I even argued to the universe late last night and saying what have I done to deserve something my parents are giving me. I don't deserve it but they won't budge anyway. I deserve something else but not this one. And one last word - I fucking seriously hate inspirational books. I am not amused of the fact that certain people teach other people how to run their lives. I admit I am one of those that need a tutor on how to manage life but still I'd prefer to do it o my own - make mistakes, fuck up sometimes (not ALL the time) and learn from it. These kind of books nag! Haha and yes this is what comes out when you stray from the transgressive fiction section in National.