Happy Christmas (War is NOT over)

December was hectic. It was crazy, overwhelming and exhausting. I feel like it has been a month of beating deadlines after deadlines that it got me almost downward spiraling out of control. Almost. Unlike last year, which was a balance of productivity in the workplace and extracurricular pleasure, this year it feels like trying to beat the buzzer of a run of the mill holiday blur. Always.I feel like I am in constant fighting stance draining all the energy of me, wasting it.

As of now I am plotting in my head the things to be done, Christmas dinners with different circles to be booked and making sure the operating room schedule is not in disarray. I have not yet watched “Love Actually” this year and it will be three days till Christmas. It has become a tradition of mine for ten years now to watch the film during the season.

So far the highlights for the Yuletide season of 2014, is the Christmas dinner with the nerds which lasted till the wee hours of the morning. I finally was able to make egg nog and it was great. And the rest of the evening turned out to be a grand time in geek fashion. Another one is being able to participate as a Santa for less privileged kids. I will be doing that next year again.

This year the things I want are less material. If I had my way a two week off from hospital duty would be bliss. Probably I will take the opportunity to use that gift certificate in a resort in Bohol. However it is not possible. I also want to be able to enjoy Christmas morning in peace which includes mass and lunch with the family, shopping and catching up on my reading.

In the spirit of Christmas in a materialistic world, here are some of my Christmas wishes.

1.) The new Murakami book, either of the two but I prefer the thick hardbound one with Colorless on its title
2.) “The Stranger” by Albert Camus
3.) A new graphic novel for my collection
4.) Timbaland boots
5.) New running shoes (cheap ones will do!)
6.) Sanuks for duty (mine got unfortunately stolen in the operating room lounge)
7.) Rocket Raccoon action figure
8.) A new board game
And I think the older you get the shorter your Christmas wants.

What if?

If you were not working as a doctor, what will you be doing?

I'd probably be any of these three: A lawyer. Since one of my best friends, is a successful associate in one of the firms in Makati with a good reputation and she is so passionate of her work despite the crazy back breaking paperwork and overtime. Sometimes I'd love to teach history to college kids and I've always been a geek on history from way back. Another job I can see myself working in is the advertising world. With the right college and degree I think I can do it. I could work in an advertising firm that specializes in posters, events, book covers etc.

#whatif

In the Midst of It All

The prestige reaped can never replace lost youth, borrowed time, unfulfilled promises, broken equations and people who drifted away. What is missing will never be found and you will be forced to realize an empty acceptance of it.

Random Mumbling on V-Day (Happily alone, really.)

“How do you stop longing for what you absolutely know you can’t get? Which really means: How do you absolutely know you can’t—and won’t—get it, not ever? How do you pinch out that wisp of feeble, ruthless hope?”

Happy Valentine's Day to all couples and friends. I think this day is overrated but I am still wishing all you boys and girls a memorable one. Just remember one thing. No glove, No love... Carry on!

This song's for you everybody happily in love... Hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI

2013 A Look Back

It's a bit overdue but I want to do this. I've been wanting to really since New Year's Eve but just found the time to do it so.

I've shouted in my Facebook 3 days before the new year that 2013 was a year of natural disasters, inner demons, turning points, wrecking balls and a LOT of learning. I think its a turning point year. It could have been better but it could have been worse as well. Generally thought it was a character builder of a year. Here was 2013 in a nutshell.

Highlights:

1.) Being deployed to Bohol for a week as part of a Trauma Team relief operations after the October quake. That earthquake opened up a lot of epiphanies on life and in which direction I should take in my career. And during that week I felt a sense of purpose in my chosen profession. I spent three memorable summers in Bohol and it was so heartbreaking to see personally the damage it left. And the fact that we were recognized by the Orthopaedics Board was just a bonus. A sweet icing on the cake.
2.) Meeting new friends that actually can connect with you and getting to hang out with them quite often. Thanks to Cebu Trivia Night and Cebu Boardgaming Society for this.
3.) The interview on local TV about firecracker injury prevention for the second straight year. Glad to be of service and spreading knowledge. My parents watched it twice. I didn't. It makes me cringe.
4.) The solo surgeries especially the anticipation, the adrenaline rush, the challenge and the fulfillment post-operative.
5.) My first journal club report during the Philippine Orthopaedic Association and was met with positive reviews.
6.) The paintball event last September with fellow Orthopods.
7.) My brother's board exam success in the Physician's Licensure Examinations.
8.) My sister's engagement.
9.) My expanding graphic novel collection.
10.) December. The whole month was just unforgettable. It was a balance of both work and pleasure. Despite the fact that I was swamped with patients in the hospital I was able to hang out with my different groups of friends, fellow residents, families and actually enjoyed it.

Low Points:

1.) The merry month of May. This month I was almost at the edge of falling. April ended with me crying hot tears of frustration and exhaustion in Osmena Boulevard and capping it off with absence seizures right in front of Robinsons. I really wanted to quit Residency then and there, But I manned up and continued. But shit that month was helluva of a roller coaster ride of volatile vitriolic emotions and insecurities.
2.) November. Yolanda. What a bitch. Enough said. The damage you have caused just cannot be paralled by anything else.
3.) All the bullshit nonsense drama which I was able to block out.
4.) I've failed in all of my New Year's resolutions last year. Double double boo!
I really have high hopes that 2014 will be great. A lot of things to be excited about. For my family, friends, career, colleagues, first vacation leave, turning 30, more solo surgeries, new friends, graphic novels and whole lot more. So far it has started off pretty well. Hope this will continue for 11 more months. 2014 I'll try like hell to be strong and to make you mine. Good vibes ahead!