What if?

If you were not working as a doctor, what will you be doing?

I'd probably be any of these three: A lawyer. Since one of my best friends, is a successful associate in one of the firms in Makati with a good reputation and she is so passionate of her work despite the crazy back breaking paperwork and overtime. Sometimes I'd love to teach history to college kids and I've always been a geek on history from way back. Another job I can see myself working in is the advertising world. With the right college and degree I think I can do it. I could work in an advertising firm that specializes in posters, events, book covers etc.

#whatif

In the Midst of It All

The prestige reaped can never replace lost youth, borrowed time, unfulfilled promises, broken equations and people who drifted away. What is missing will never be found and you will be forced to realize an empty acceptance of it.

Random Mumbling on V-Day (Happily alone, really.)

“How do you stop longing for what you absolutely know you can’t get? Which really means: How do you absolutely know you can’t—and won’t—get it, not ever? How do you pinch out that wisp of feeble, ruthless hope?”

Happy Valentine's Day to all couples and friends. I think this day is overrated but I am still wishing all you boys and girls a memorable one. Just remember one thing. No glove, No love... Carry on!

This song's for you everybody happily in love... Hehe

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AZxUtZ2ZgI

2013 A Look Back

It's a bit overdue but I want to do this. I've been wanting to really since New Year's Eve but just found the time to do it so.

I've shouted in my Facebook 3 days before the new year that 2013 was a year of natural disasters, inner demons, turning points, wrecking balls and a LOT of learning. I think its a turning point year. It could have been better but it could have been worse as well. Generally thought it was a character builder of a year. Here was 2013 in a nutshell.

Highlights:

1.) Being deployed to Bohol for a week as part of a Trauma Team relief operations after the October quake. That earthquake opened up a lot of epiphanies on life and in which direction I should take in my career. And during that week I felt a sense of purpose in my chosen profession. I spent three memorable summers in Bohol and it was so heartbreaking to see personally the damage it left. And the fact that we were recognized by the Orthopaedics Board was just a bonus. A sweet icing on the cake.
2.) Meeting new friends that actually can connect with you and getting to hang out with them quite often. Thanks to Cebu Trivia Night and Cebu Boardgaming Society for this.
3.) The interview on local TV about firecracker injury prevention for the second straight year. Glad to be of service and spreading knowledge. My parents watched it twice. I didn't. It makes me cringe.
4.) The solo surgeries especially the anticipation, the adrenaline rush, the challenge and the fulfillment post-operative.
5.) My first journal club report during the Philippine Orthopaedic Association and was met with positive reviews.
6.) The paintball event last September with fellow Orthopods.
7.) My brother's board exam success in the Physician's Licensure Examinations.
8.) My sister's engagement.
9.) My expanding graphic novel collection.
10.) December. The whole month was just unforgettable. It was a balance of both work and pleasure. Despite the fact that I was swamped with patients in the hospital I was able to hang out with my different groups of friends, fellow residents, families and actually enjoyed it.

Low Points:

1.) The merry month of May. This month I was almost at the edge of falling. April ended with me crying hot tears of frustration and exhaustion in Osmena Boulevard and capping it off with absence seizures right in front of Robinsons. I really wanted to quit Residency then and there, But I manned up and continued. But shit that month was helluva of a roller coaster ride of volatile vitriolic emotions and insecurities.
2.) November. Yolanda. What a bitch. Enough said. The damage you have caused just cannot be paralled by anything else.
3.) All the bullshit nonsense drama which I was able to block out.
4.) I've failed in all of my New Year's resolutions last year. Double double boo!
I really have high hopes that 2014 will be great. A lot of things to be excited about. For my family, friends, career, colleagues, first vacation leave, turning 30, more solo surgeries, new friends, graphic novels and whole lot more. So far it has started off pretty well. Hope this will continue for 11 more months. 2014 I'll try like hell to be strong and to make you mine. Good vibes ahead!

On Aging

Yes this is my first post after a long time. Residency happened. I got the job I wanted for a long time and I mentioned it quite often here. And a lot of things happened for the past year. And yes that will be reserved for another post if I can muster the effort time and energy to do so.

Since its been almost tradition that every year I dedicated a post to things I want for my birthday. So here goes.

1.) A graphic novel to add to my growing collection. Any of the following titles would be nice: "From Hell, "Habibi" or "Persepolis"
2.) Vans Old Skool Sneakers in Black size 8
3.) "The Wind Up Bird Chronicles" by Haruki Murakami
4.) "Lullaby" by Chuck Palahnuik
5.) Vintage T-shirts
6.) A weekend off (wishful thinking!)
7.) Skinny jeans from Bench
8.) James Dean DVD set
9.) A Power Rangers T-shirt

And here are some petty pathetic things I really want to accomplish before I turn 30. However these are also realistic, something that I can do in between surgeries and residency. Yes next year I will be entering the third decade. Its not as overwhelming as say five years ago. I want to do something memorable for next year.

1.) Finish all the Chronicles of Narnia books all seven of them - an ode to childhood
2.) Go to Aloguinsan. It is the only town here in Cebu I hadn't set foot in yet.
3.) Travel alone - I should have done this last year when I had so much time. Domestic probably.
4.) Start writing poetry. But I'm still to shy to share.
5.) Graphic novel collection will become 100
6.) Start a new hobby - I just did last year with the indie graphic novel collection.
7.) Cook a dish or bake a cake
8.) Finish "Miller's Review of Orthopaedics". - For residency purposes
9.) Revamp my room
10.) Invest

Let us see how I fare with the list.

I'm sure this year's birthday will be remarkable. It is unconventional so I will never forget this year.

Thought for Next Month

"I wish that I can have a life that is lived in the middle ground where contentment and love are found in the smallest details of people's lives".

This is what I learned today after finishing Nicholas Sparks's latest book "The Best of Me". This line was uttered by one of the characters.

These include spending time with your friends every week and laughing, eating a delicious dessert, trying out new cuisines, doing good on the first six months on your job evaluation, reading a good book on a rainy night while getting cozy on the couch, being entertained by a movie, home cooked lunch on Sundays with your healthy parents and siblings, walking the dogs, calling a pal from a different city to catch up, playing with your friends' kids amongst others.

As I will be turning a year older in two weeks. Yes, I am on my way of closing my late twenties, I've come to realize that, this is one of my birthday wishes this year.

Photo Credits: thingsweforget.blogspot.com

The Science of Sleep

Ever since I stopped working and started my sabbatical from the world of employment and wages I have been having tiny problems regarding sleep. Don't get me wrong I love sleep. But these are not life threatening medical problems.

Last month I've had dreams that are David Lynch-esque and it was both surreal and a bit upsetting. However I don't remember the bulk of those dreams but I swear it was like being stuck in Lynch's subconscious. And no matter how hard I try to remember them I usually just manage to picture one scene from such dreams when I wake up. It was like being in a black and white bleak world from the film "Eraserhead". Sometimes friends from high school, college, medical school and from the hospitals I've had worked know each other and mingle.

And the only one I can remember was the last dream I had two days ago. It was not as puzzling as "Mulholland Drive" but it was inexplicably odd. The theme was consistent like the rest of those dreams. It was set in medical school and it was Bioethics class and we were doing some kind of presentation about some medical issue I forgot. Yes, this is the class where we tackle euthanasia, abortion, patient confidentiality etc. Basically all those from the characters in "Grey's Anatomy" casually breach. The format was a talk show and I was the talk show host. It was set in an amphitheater (where we do these classes way back) and everybody from the school was there. The bizarre thing was though there were about a million pieces surrounding me I could not recognize any classmates nor schoolmates. However my professor was there. Then we were about to start. She then asked me if I was ready to start. And I said I was. Then suddenly, after I told her I was ready I had a mental block out right then and there. I could not remember for the love of God everything I was about to talk in front of the crowd. Nothing. I got nervous. John, one of my co-interns from post graduate internship who graduated from a different school, appeared and wished me luck. He then asked me why I missed his wedding(which happened a week ago) and then I woke up.

Right now I am having trouble falling asleep for two weeks now. I end up lying in bed for two to three hours before getting full shut eye. I want to have a normal circadian rhythm. I've tried everything what medical school has taught me. And still nothing is quite working yet. I've given up those afternoon naps and I read a lot of literature in bed.But I'm happy that a little progress has been made.

I guess this is the price you pay for having no work and no stress at all , no?