Fast March

That is all I can say for this month. It was really fast. And in six days, the first quarter of this year is over. And so far so good. It feels like, at least for me, I am a plane taking off, still trying to reach the required altitude to get to the next destination. And I have to post something because I will be more busy for the next fifteen days and it will be April soon. I just need one more post for March.

This month I was happy to be working on weekends. It was a change of pace, more time for relaxation which equates to more time for books, movies and friends and I don't have to wake up early every day. It can be toxic but I'd prefer it anytime compared to my office hours schedule. And I also requested this so that I could have more time for rest and leisure. But as it turns out I was motivated to accept extra sidelines for cash. The first two days of March I was full on bumming mode. During the first weekend my duty at the ER was bloody to say the least. Then the week after booked myself with two days of medical consultations. And the next thing I knew, I was already booked almost every day for three to six hours of medical consultations from North to South of Cebu. And I feel really blessed. I always will stick to my day job because it is stable and pays well. However these extra shifts and sidelines allows me to get some goodies, eat good food occasionally, drinks with friends and extra savings these days doesn't hurt. As long as I am available, no matter how far the location (farthest up North was Bogo and farthest down South was Oslob), I'd always say yes. Just when the ball started rolling for me, the hospital for residency applications called. They told me I was qualified for pre-residency but not necessarily a sure bet for the item. So I filed for leave and did all the required papers hence I got all the more busy. After medical consultations I'd stop by at the hospital and once I got the go signal I started getting jittery. I finished all my commitments and now I am a bit scared but at the same time crossing my fingers and hope that this is it. However I will be expecting for the worse as usual. And that's basically the summary of this month - anxiety and inferiority. Sigh. Let's hope that the next fifteen days will be as fast! Lets do this!

Speaking of goodies, I recently bought a couple of books from BookSale. Seriously, every time I go in, I always buy something when I go out of a branch. And also from National Bookstore. But I really got these books at cheap, totally worth it prices.

Books I got from BookSale:
1.) Midnight Miles - A photo book of Maroon 5's tour way back 2003-2004. I got this for 325 pesos. Colored and in good condition.
2.) Kiss and Tell - An official guide to Sex and the City. In mint condition except for a little tear on the back part of the cover near the spine, which I repaired with tape. This is price at 899 pesos at FullyBooked, got it for 245 pesos
3.) Grunge - A coffee table hardbound book about the Grunge movement and the iconic bands of the era. Yup, only 90 pesos.
4.) The Beautiful and the Damned by F. Scott Fitzgerald , Wordsworth Classics Edition. The cover is just random but its only 75 pesos and in great condition

Books from National Bookstore:
1.) What I Talk About Running - Haruki Murakami. A hardbound edition for 175 pesos.
2.) The Curious Case of Benjamin Button by F. Scott Fitzgerald - only 75 pesos too!
3.) Rolling Stone Magazine's 500 Greatest Albums of All Time - Hardbound, printed last 2005, with tears along the flap jacket but nonetheless still a bargain for 250 pesos.
4.) Man of My Dreams by Curtis Sittenfield - Hardbound original price at 799, got it for 99 pesos and gave it as a gift.

I know I shouldn't be buying more books but I do anyway. Its an impulse that is hard to suppress but I will be taking the summer to read all these books and the others that are in line. So far, I've only finished five books this year and currently reading two. I can't wait for the next two weeks. I'll just have to suck it up!

Ch... ch... changes..

Change always confuses me. It always leaves an unsettling feeling. Uncertainty, anxiety and fear combined. I just recently dealt with change and transferred my ass to a new comfort zone. Suddenly a curve ball comes my way - the good kind of curve ball. Something that you have always wanted for a long time. But now I don't want to move my ass to a new comfort zone. Its no man's land. I was just getting comfortable in my new phase. I was ecstatic of course as my dreams are coming full circle but the formation of that circle will bring forth more waiting, more questions. Its time to take a leap of faith again. This time with my eyes blindfolded and I don't know where will I land - water, sand or rocks. Yup its that terrifying. Quite ironic that something I've hoped for, for quite a long time, that has swallowed me whole with not so pleasant consequences is semi actualized but yet it has transported me in an unstable state of more wondering. Changes scare the beejezus out of me.

But all I can do is hope for the best, expect the worse, have a little faith in myself, suck it up, go with the flow and do your best. So here's to fucking changes!

Like the song in the video above goes.. "Everything is gonna be alright.... Rockabye...

P.S.: I have a tendency to overplay this song every time I am about to face major life changes, u-turns and picking a new road to start a journey.

Hectic

I could not summarize the past two or three weeks in a word. All I can say it was hectic. But the good kind of hectic. I totally immersed myself in work and catching up with friends and trying to micromanage them, finances. So a balance of wonderful moments at work and even more wonderful moments with friends.

The past two weeks were hectic. There I've said it again. No, make that February's been hectic. Not to mention the change of schedules and scheduling conflicts, too many deliveries and dealing with annoying workers in the hospital (not doctors). But somehow February made sense.

The past month I have been trying to grapple about fulfillment, weighing in my career choices and trying to tighten my grip on reality without bordering on either controlling or delusional. I guess it is because of changes. I always turn to overthinking, overemoting and nostalgia when change comes looming in. As I have aged, I have become less and less emo but sometimes I'd crack that all I want to do is crawl up in bed and write non sensical bullshit or at least try to come up with something presentable for a blog post.

Lately I have been ambivalent about some things and of decisions. Occasionally I'd want this and that and then the next day my mind changes. In conclusion I really need to be happy regardless of whatever happens not because of what will happen next. But yeah, I'm happier now compared to my irritable, agitated mood during the holidays.

So I don't know how to end this one. Honestly I have been formulating this in my head for over a week and a half now and its getting annoying in my head at least thats why I have to get this out of my neurons. Now back to the hectic week. I've worked from Sunday to Saturday and went out everyday of the week except on Sundays. We won the Special Edition Second Anniversary Trivia Night on Friday. Saturday Jo came to Cebu and super catch up with pizza, pasta and doughnuts. Shopping on the side. Sunday was crazy day at work. Monday was the Eat All You Can Buffet at Radisson Blu and I am going crazy for their sushi bar and dessert selections. Homemade ice cream anyone? Definitely coming back! Tuesday I watched two exceptionally made films in the Bisaya language - Dili Ingon Nato and My Paranormal Romance (more on this some other time). Wednesday met up with one of my closest friends from medical school Mayee and talked about life, careers( this has got to be topic of the year for me) and her engagement. We talked about leaps of faith and lots of hope for our futures. Thursday and Friday Trivia Night and Saturday was the Board Game Session which lasted until the wee hours of the morning and it was so competitive and of course fun! I passed out on the couch.

And another thing, fulfillment and all those shit still confuse me sometimes. And yes I still want that yellow board shorts damn it!

Crazy, Stupid, Love

Boy: say you love me
Girl: laughs
Boy: say you love me
Girl: no
Boy: say you love me!
Girl: I won't
Boy: say "I love you" na!
Girl: no way.
Boy cge na, say I love you!
Girl: fine. i love you.
Boy: say my name
Girl: silence
Boy: say I love you -----!
Girl: whatever. i love you -----

after a few minutes...

SLAP!

boy (dumbfounded): what was that for?
girl: that's for making me say I love you

SLAP!

girl: and that's for making me say it when I don't mean it.

Pakshet! Talbog ang mga linya nina John Lloyd Cruz and Bea Alonzo at sa lahat ng pelikula ng Star Cinema mga kantang pang Videoke naman ang mga pamagat! Ito na ang pinakamatindi na pamatay linya sa history ng mga pamatay linya tsaka pick up lines! Yari ka Pre! LOL!! :-D

Happy V-Day Pals and Gals!

Happy Birthday James Dean!

February 8, 1931 - September 30, 1955

"Dream as if you'll live forever, Live as if you'll die today"

He would've been eighty one years old. If he were still alive, he would still be making movies,a dozen Oscar nominations to boot and would probably exude that youthful exuberance. But he was taken too soon.

Just a random reflection on his life: A short life well lived without boundaries is better than a long life full of what ifs...

Before and After The Quake

During lunch time today Cebu was shaken up by a 6.8 magnitude earthquake on the Richter scale. Today as we marched back to the daily work grind, it seemed like a normal manic Monday. Deadlines, e-mails to reply, patients to examined but as we were about to wolf down our lunches, the earth moved and we all felt it under our feet. Another proof that life is indeed unpredictable and it never runs out of surprises. I am really thankful that it was not that strong but it could have been - and Cebu's old buildings will not stand a chance against the Earth's tectonic plates and my family and friends though all shook up are safe and sound. That is something to be grateful for.

BEFORE...

Last week as I was beaming in celebrating happy friendship week(I fuckin' know, cheesy!). I was happy. The type of happy where in I suddenly and unknowingly catch myself smiling while in transit for no apparent reason but in my head I am thinking about the crazy events that had happened beforehand. I do look silly in front of these strangers but in actuality that's one of my favorite mini moments. Laughing subconsciously while replaying those stupid zany moments never fails to lift me up and gets me through the day! These moments include drunken tirades among friends, trash talking over board game strategies and blast from the past moments.

On Monday, a college friend came back after four years of working in the US and ironically we finally met his fiancee. We never had the chance to meet her when they were still dating before they left to work abroad. And it was night of laughter and catching up just like the old times.

On Wednesday, Alejandro's Filipino Resto, was demolished to give way to more wider roads in a section of the city that's not even a main road. Honestly I don't get government crap sometimes. For the past eighteen months I spent most of my Wednesday nights in Alejandro's geeking out during Trivia Night and getting wasted. Because of this weekly sessions, I met new faces and new friends that share my inner dork force with and my love for alcohol and a good time. Alejandro's is like Central Perk (the coffeeshop from F.R.I.E.N.D.S.)for me, a place where memories where made for the past year and a half. From kicking ass and getting our asses kicked over trivial supremacy, to conversations about the moon and comparing Oscar Movies and the most epic are the post trivia drinking sessions which includes puking on ice buckets, peeing on firewalls, inebriated Q and A's and a whole lot of drama and comedy capped off with a pre-breakfast hot noodles meal by the sidewalk. Ah, funny memories indeed! And the last ever Trivia Night at Alejandro's was legendary - we won first place, I got so drunk and puked my guts out which resulted into the most bitchiest hang over of my life so far, and there was fist pumping, punching and bitch slapping!

During the weekend, my body was telling me to slow down a bit. I got GERD (Gastroesophageal Reflux Disease). My epigastrium was burning and I lost my appetite for 36 hours. I ended up just staying at home, missing a board game session, turned down a karaoke party and spent most of my time in bed with PPIs and water. I used the time to finally finish "The Elephant Vanishes" and catch up on Oscar nominated movies.

Sunday I was finally back in tip top shape. First thing I did was hear mass, window shopped for books (I know I shouldn't right now) and pigged out! I ate at Flame It for nostalgia's sake, had ice cream, yogurt, got myself new plaid Airwalks slip-ons and ended the night with a cappucino and New York Cheesecake Doughnut from Krispy Kreme. Yes next weekend I will be rebounding!

AFTER....

What disappointed me during this event is how the people panicked which totally reflected ill preparedness and lack of knowledge and foresight. All those time spent on earthquake drills are now totally down the drain. People spreading text messages that a tsunami had occurred in Carbon Market and that the downtown area was flooded. Sometimes people do perceived updates wrongly and misinterpret warnings. Let us pray and be calm.

Good thing my mother though anxious but lets her level guardedness win over. When I went home from work I found on my bedroom a gallon of water around 5 liters, plates, ropes, knives and canned goods.

And then those aftershocks are making me dizzy. PHIVOLCS said they will continue for almost a week. Even more.

Inspired by today's tremors and done in good jest, here is my "It's The Quake" play list:
1.) I Feel the Earth Move - Carole King
2.) We Will Rock You - Queen
3.) Get Busy - Sean Paul
4.) All Shook Up - Elvis Presley
5.) Shake Your Love - Debbie Gibson
6.) It's the End of the World (As we know it!) - REM
7.) Shake your Bon Bon - Ricky Martin
8.) Bodyshakin' - 911
9.) Shake, Rattle and Roll - Jesse Stone
10.)You Shook Me All Night Long - AC/DC

Let us all pray and hope for every one's safety. We can get through this!

People I Haved and Still Love

Friends that I have spent a significant amount of time - either getting hammered, dilly dallying time with and celebrating memorable turning points. Concluding happy friendship week.