The Daily Grind and Finances

I can't believe that November will end in a week's time. And as much as I have the urge to write I just can't seem to transcribe my thoughts on paper or to cyberspace. Its usually stuck in my head every morning or late afternoon while commuting for work or going home from work. And when I get home I can't recall what I was thinking in the first place so then I don't write anymore. I log on to Facebook and then catch up with my friends' lives or stalk people randomly.

I've been working in an outpatient department clinic in a district hospital, office hours from 8 to 5 pm, weekdays only. I really love my schedule. Because I get to have a social life after office hours and get to have weekends off! Okay initially I wanted to work office hours during the weekdays so that during the weekends I will have an opportunity to cover and earn additional 50% of what I earn. But honestly this never came about. Weekends I prefer to lounge around the house reading books or magazines or having a wonderful lunch or dinner outside. Usually to meet up with friends. But I don't mind if I lose moolah the time spent with family and friends are priceless!

And yes after a month's delay I've finally got my paycheck and I've decline my parents' offer to continue receiving allowance. As much as it pains me a bit, I mean hey if I accept the offer, I would have all my money to myself and that means hedonism with shopping, drinks and fancy dinners to my heart's content. But they have done so much for me already so I was just thinking maybe they could use the money that they would allot for me to have some fun and relaxation on their own. The irony of earning on your own is you hesitate to spend compared to when you are not earning at all. So after I got my check I exchanged it to cash and roamed around two shopping malls. Still I got nothing. But in my mind I wanted to buy a lot of things - sneakers, Murakami's new book, shirts and underwear but as soon as I am about to march to the counter I turn back and return the item to the rack. I'll probably have a shopping spree during the Christmas holiday sale rush. For now I am saving for my inaanaks, family and friends for Christmas gifts.

My free spiritedness clashes with my practicality when it comes to the money issues. My spontaneous side says: "Go spend have fun and enjoy life". My thrifty side retorts: "Save for the rainy days and save for your future. Okay as much as I don't like money to be the center of decisions, but sometimes it really has to. So now that I am earning on my own, I liquidate my cash and take note if I am spending too much or I am just right on the budget. But despite having to do this I am thankful that I still get to earn a pretty decent amount for expenses, try good food, a little goodies here and there and to be able to have a good time two or three times a week. Plus I really do enjoy my job!

The holidays are just around the corner. I am now making my Christmas wish list and checking my list - naughty or nice if you are my friend I might actually give you something!

October Rushed Catch Up Post

The past month has been really fast. The days became weeks then the weeks became five and sooner than you know it the month ended already. It has been three weeks since I last posted and a lot of things has changed since then. I have met new people that are great to work with, old friends and classmates leaving going abroad or going back to their places of origin and some colleagues working already some as general physicians and others jumping into residency. And my employment prospects have become clearer and less murky compared to a month ago. Yes, better days are coming back in town. Let's just keep it that way since I don't want to count the chickens before the eggs have hatched. In short I don't want to jinx it. Anyhoo here are the details:

1.) Working in a district hospital an hour away from where I live has taught me discipline and time management. I really do enjoy working in Minglanilla (technically a municipality), which is considered the suburbs here. The staff are very friendly, accommodating and efficient. I am assigned both in the outpatient department, delivery room and OB ward 8 hours a day weekdays only. Weekend I usually turn down gigs to go on duty two to three hours away from the city. The job I have right now currently pays well (except paychecks are ridiculously delayed), relaxed and I get to see a maximum of 50 patients per eight hours, which I consider a decent number really. Not too exhausting. Plus I get to have weekends off which I have the option of covering other doctors or just chilling in bed or somewhere at my spontaneity's fancy.

2.) I got sick with the flu on a long weekend that coincided with Halloween. I had fever, body malaise, runny nose and dry cough. So this year unlike the previous no costume parties for me. I was in bed the whole time nursing myself back to optimum health by watching movies loaded with anti-histamines and mucolytics, on a water diet and going to the loo every two hours. I watched Suspiria, Bad Teacher, Crazy, Stupid Love and bits of The Shining (I have yet to finish this!).

3.) I went out Friday night, a day before I got sick to go to a bar and was able to hear Up Dharma Down live, up close and personal. Though I am not a big fan of them but I have heard a couple of their songs on MYX and YouTube and thought they make interesting music. I can't seem to classify it really more like a fusion of rock and jazz or something. So just to spend Friday night differently than the usual (which includes books, Entertainment Weekly or catching up on documentaries), I went out with my friend Guada for a night of drinks, pizza and good music. Man it felt good! I can't remember the last time I went out on a Friday night. Up Dharma Down rocks!

4.) Jo visited Cebu one weekend right before Halloween and it was catch up make up reaffirmation weekend. We got to talk personally, had sumptuous burgers in Dong Juan (can't believe I didn't drop by sooner!), coffee at Bo's Ayala for nostalgia's sake and exchanged pasalubongs which consisted of an artsy fartsy planner from Seoul and Special Edition Andy Warhol postcards. Our get togethers are always a blast. Can't wait for the next one come December.

5.) I finally made up my mind not to be shipped to Camiguin and I think it was the right decision as my employment hullaballoo called for a qualifying exam. It was nerve wracking and whats even more anxious is waiting for the call and results. But I am waiting as patiently as I can armed with hope and optimism and at the same time frightened as much as I don't want to mess up this one chance. Oh well. Rejection is better than regret but right now I am inducing myself with positive thoughts and good vibes.

And then we are down to the last two months of the year. The huge Christmas tree in Fuente is being currently set up. This means the holidays are coming!

My City

Cause this city is my city
And I love it, yeah I love it
I was born and raised here
I got it made here
And if I have my way, I'm gonna stay here
For life, uh huh

I am not much of a fan of Hip Hop Music but the lyrics in this song strike me so. Obviously Patrick Stump (from Fall Out Boy) is not talking about Cebu City but the city he grew up in but the lyrics above I can totally relate. What I love about this song is you can totally feel the artists love for his city.

That's why I am limited in my employment options because it is very hard for me to leave Cebu and venture into Manila. It is easier said than done. I know that I will mature and grow if I get a job in Manila. I will live alone, do my own laundry, liquidate my earnings and be financially independent. I am aware that one day I should leave behind my comfort zone in order to gain some new insight. But my love for Cebu is one big hindrance that I could not overcome right now. Cebu is where the heart is. The only thing that will make it complete is the position I am applying for.

Maybe if all is not well by mid next year I must say good bye to Cebu for my own fulfillment but rest assured I will be coming back - as often as I can.

What's not to love - decent cost of living, the beach is just thirty minutes away and so is the mountains, Sinulog, delicious food, rich heritage, organized jeepney system, laid back people and atmosphere, and tolerable weather all year round. Despite the horrendous traffic, narrow roads, flooded streets, pollution it still doesn't matter. It does not make me love Cebu less.

So here you go, this song is dedicated to those people who were born, raised and made in Cebu!

I wanted to write something but all I can come up is this:

It has been a busy week for me. But I'm not complaining about it only the fact that I have yet to receive my paycheck but I was supposed to last October 10. But due to my stupidity and some complicated procedures I will be getting it together hopefully late this week or early this week.

This weekend I was just catching up on sleep. I had two 24 hour duties and one 8 hour shift at the outpatient department. Last week I only had an average of 4 - 5 hours sleep per night since if I am off I usually go out to drink and play trivia.

There was a time when blogs were full of these quizzes. Right now since the frontal area of my brain is too cluttered to organize I'll just answer this:

1.) What is your best friend's name?

I don't have one single best friend but here are the names of my closest friends: Jo, Dawnah, Bingo, Mark, Rona, Ianne, Guada, Lee, Nadia

2. What color underwear/boxers wearing now?

Black semi-tanga Bench briefs with a hole on the left side of my ass. Hey I'm at home so it is perfectly okay to wear old underwear!

3. What are you listening to right now?

Use Somebody by Kings of Leon. Soundtrack for my S and R weekend (Sleep and Relaxation)

4. Whats your favorite number?

Eight

5. What was the last thing you ate?

Shrimps and pork adobo for dinner.

6. If you were a crayon what color would you be?

Anything yellow. Though when I was a kid I had a 64 crayola box with a crayon color "Mac and Cheese" and I loved it!

7. How is the weather right now?

Humid for the month of October

8. Who was the last person you talked 2 on the phone?

Jo, and that was yesterday in the morning when I got off from work

9. The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Nose!

10. Do you have a significant other?

Nope, still rearranging my life plans right now

11. Favorite TV show?

The O.C., Friends and Supernatural. Right now I try to follow Glee, How I Met Your Mother and anything travel related on Nat Geo

12. Siblings?

Three

13. Height?

5'4''

14. Hair color? / 15. Eye Color

Black/Black.

16. Do you wear contacts?

Nope. I think its too tedious. I just wear glasses because they complement my personality.

17. Favorite Holiday?

Christmas! I like the feel and anticipation of the holidays! Especially here in Cebu

18. Month?

December and April

19. Have you ever cried for no reason?

Yes! A lot of time actually

20. What was the last movie you watched?

Melancholia by Lars von Trier starring Kirsten Dunst. It was an out of this world melodramatic psychological sci-fi ride!

21. Favorite Day of the Year?

When I was a student it was Fridays now its Wednesdays because the movies change at the cinemas, dinner with family at home and play trivia with my doctor friends so mid week ain't that dreary anymore

22. Are you too shy to ask someone out?

Yes

23. Can you do a headstand (not using the wall)?

No but I will before I turn 30! Watch me!

24. Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs!

25. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla because it is versatile. You can add sprinkles, marshmallows, M and Ms, chocolate syrup or just eat it plain and still taste good.

26. Do you want your friends to respond to this?

Why not?

27. Who is most likely to respond to a text from you?

My parents

28. Who is least likely to respond to a text from you?

Someone who shall not be named! Hahaha

29. What books are you reading?

"The Girl who Kicked the Hornet's Nest" By Stieg Larsson and "A Decade of Curious People and Dangerous Ideas "by Chuck Klosterman IV

30. Piercings?

None. I am to chicken to get one. When I was about to graduate college I wanted to have my ears pierced but now I am paranoid about blood borne diseases and infection.

Here's to another week of slugging it out and working hard for the money!

Friends and Marriage

Nadia and Keith, so happy together!

Today one of my closest friends will tie the knot but on a different timezone. Nadia and I had only been classmates for a year during high school but we hanged out almost every week by having lunch together or malling. We both love to be silly, do crazy things and laugh. After college, she studied in UP Los Banos and I stayed right here in Cebu. During that time period we did not see each other personally for five years but kept in touch through text, e-mail and Friendster. She went back to Cebu and got a job. And that's where she met Keith. They got to know each other, fell in love, shared a love nest and then finally they are getting married. Its about time I should say!

Nadia and Keith perfectly complement each other. Nadia is spontaneous, vivacious and impulsive. Keith is silent, patient and level headed. However both of them love going to new places, eating, exploring the outdoors and are game at anything!

To Nadia and Keith, I wish you both all the best in your married life, success in all your endeavors, healthy beautiful children and pure marital bliss for years and years to come. Too bad I can't be there personally but I will be in spirit and good thoughts!


I took this picture right after the wedding ceremony. Kim and Arnel, happily married.

Last year on this date, one of my closest friends as well tied the knot at the same church her parents did. Kim and Arnel after one year are still so much in love and are getting happier every passing day! The wedding ceremony was so full of love between the couple and all their family and friends who were at the celebration.

To Kim and Arnel I wish you more happy days and cute adorable healthy children as well! See you soon!

Better than Expected

Starting the day with only about three hours sleep, had tequila shots the night before and a cold, bumpy two hour bus ride, I was already expecting that my first day as a general practitioner in a secondary hospital would not be a piece of cake but surprisingly, it was not as bad as I had anticipated. I had toxic days before and though I was the only doctor available with six admissions and two dozen consults I was lucky that the patients I had were stable except two and the other one eventually improved. Thank God!

The night before I had a hard time getting some shut eye. It was perhaps a combination of excitement to be back in action, nervousness since this is my first gig and I am doing it solo and last probably the sugar from the delicious birthday cake the night before. However my twenty four hour duty went smoothly and with my sympathetic nervous system taking over I was not dozing off. And I was able to sleep for four hours uninterrupted!

Not bad for a first timer. I was really proud of myself that I was able to recall on diagnosis and management. I am just hoping that those patients I admitted have improved or have discharged good as new.

After that experience and yes there are times that it can be really exhausting, I am hoping that everything will be alright and I will improve also for the better. I'm getting back on track albeit slow but surely I will really get there. Till next time. I'm crossing my fingers that I will get it right.

When I Grow Up

Ever since I was six or seven years old, I already knew the answer to that question when asked: What do you want to be when you grow you up? I enthusiastically would reply: "I want to be a doctor". It was precocious at least for a child as young and it probably impressed my parents and their friends. In our clan, we only have one doctor in the family, my aunt, which is my mom's older sister. Most of my relatives are either nurses, teachers or into business or marketing. Growing up I never did recall playing with a plastic stethoscope or toy medical apparatuses. I started pretending to be a doctor after I had set a goal for myself that I am going to pursue a medical degree.

My earliest influence is watching Doogie Howser M.D. every Friday nights on TV. Remember that now defunct TV show which starred Neil Patrick Harris (now famous as Barney Stintson from How I Met Your Mother) as a child prodigy who got his medical degree when he was fourteen and was already a surgical resident in his adolescent years. I was inspired by the character's intelligence and skill that after every episode I envisioned myself as a doctor when I grow up - white coat, a name plate and a real stethoscope hanging by my neck.

As I entered elementary school I would still blurt out the same answer every time I am asked at school with the same question. But as I grew older I began to read a lot of encyclopedias and books that I was very much interested in medical research and infectious diseases. It was my very ambitious goal of epic proportions to be able to find a cure for cancer when I was eleven. When relatives and "kumpares" of my parents would warn me about the long period of being in the academe in order to obtain a diploma to be a doctor of medicine plus residency and specializations, I was more determined than ever and poised myself to a long and winding road of textbooks and burning the midnight candle in the future.

When high school started it was still my number one option to get a para medical degree or a pre med degree. However it was during at this time that I had began toying at the idea of looking for an alternative career other than being a doctor. When I was thirteen my geek love affair with the movies started. I explored different genres of movies, read a lot of articles about film making online and watched movies every week - in the cinemas or rent a couple of VHS tapes during the weekend. I wanted to be a filmmaker or a screenwriter. But raised with a practical mindset by my parents, I shrugged off those fashionable ambitions and labeled them as delusions of grandeur. Let's be a honest working in the world of film here in the Philippines does not really give you a clear path ahead unless you already have some connections in the industry in the first place.

During the summer before senior year in high school, I spent most of those hot humid days watching episodes of "The Practice". I got so much into it and thought that the court room is riveting and full of verbal action. Now I wanted to be a lawyer as well! I told my parents about it but at that time they were accepting but were not that supportive. But still they told me I should pick a course that I really want to major in. After a week of contemplation I ended up taking a paramedical course. With a little bit of insight from my parents they swayed me by talking about the financial stability of a doctor and even if I won't pursue post graduate studies being a medical technologist isn't that bad. So I went it and enrolled. I was a lazy ass during that summer anyway what finally sealed the deal was that you don't need to take an entrance exam to be able to get in the college - a photocopy of both your birth certificate and report card from high school will do. So I never became a lawyer. Every time I am sulking up or drunk I always tell people most of the time that if I did not pursue being a doctor I might have ended up in law school or taught history or English literature to high school students. I feel a part of me victorious of the fact that one of my best friends became a lawyer.

College went by so fast. I mean the first semester I was miserable. I missed the old comforting familiarity of high school. I missed my friends. I hate taking up twenty eight units and having a tight schedule everyday with breaks only for lunch. I envied my friends who only have two or three classes a day. I wanted to party a lot every weekend but couldn't due to school work or ROTC every Sunday. I wanted to shift to another college. But I always know that I am not a quitter and I only know when to quit when it is deemed life threatening. But every thing changed when I met new people from my course and we started hanging out a lot. We made our own memories, started our own traditions and just enjoyed every thing about college together.

During my internship for medical technology, I was totally exposed to a whole new different light of the profession. I worked with the most helpful and accommodating laboratory technicians that have exemplified the integrity and prestige of the profession. My one month rotation in VCMC made me realize that I still can have a great career even if I won't proceed to medical school. My twelve months internship made me grow and love the course I finished that I decided to take the board examinations and maybe practice as a medical technologist then go overseas for greener pastures.

After working as a volunteer in VSMMC laboratory I was bored. In just a span of three months every thing became routine. From blood testing to microbiological studies, I felt that I could do more. So I quit, went on a hiatus and finally decided that this is it! I am enrolling in medical school. I applied, got accepted and graduated medical school after four grueling years of examinations, dissections, rotations which consisted of sleepless nights, self-doubt and a lot of drama. I shall leave it at that. All the experiences in medical school will surmount to a couple of blog posts.

Now here I am, just passed the medical board examinations two months ago. Officially a licensed doctor. I already have my own license and two additional initials to be forever attached to my name, till death do us part! I am proud of myself. But somehow after ten years of studying, two years worth of hospital internships and one year of reviewing it is not as fulfilling as you would've thought it would be ten years back. Sometimes I wake up empty and confused on whether I have wasted those precious years.

Being a doctor or studying medicine at least is like being sucked in a super massive black hole. It never ends. This time it is all about residency options - to start right away, wait a year or never train at all and then dealing with rejections and more uncertainties. Oh well I guess that's what is constant about life.

I have given myself a month to withdraw from every one else and I sound ungrateful of such prestige and privilege entitled to me. Yes I am very grateful that I had become a doctor. Though right now I do not embody such character I will become a doctor. I realize that all I need is time and with time every thing else will come into place no matter how chaotic every thing is somehow it will all fall into place if it is meant to be. I can do this.